There have been a lot of things in flux recently in my life. It has been a moment that I anticipated for a long while, but as everyone knows you can never really prepare yourself for change.
I've always been really big at retrospectively making sense of my life, seeing an ebb an flow (in energy, happiness, money, whatever) as part of the natural trend of life. But letting go of things is never an easy thing. No matter how much I can retroactively say "yes, of course that was a good thing, yes I needed that break, how cathartic was that, bla bla," I can't feel at ease when I decide to let go. It feels sad, and it feels like a failure, and it feel like time is an enemy out to get me.
And then some things happen that truly don't make any sense at all, and make you feel suddenly amputated from any line of rationality or faith or world design. Then I just bake, because there's a certain chemistry and magic in baking that is soothing and undeniable, and maybe if I could do math I'd solve math problems instead but for now I bake.